So, it’s January again.

The past year seems to have gone soooo quickly. It feels more like a few weeks than twelve months since I last sat here in January, hoping that the weather would soon start to perk up – and my maker’s mojo with it.

This time of year has become something of a bugbear for me. After the joys of Christmas I start the year with a sense of getting all up-and-at-em, only to feel it evaporating into torpor and recriminations shortly afterwards. Knowing what’s likely to happen isn’t enough to stop it and all my plans for new starts, self-care and resolutions don’t seem to make much impact on the dreaded January blues.

So I am trying to be kind to myself, to not have unrealistic expectations and to plan ahead for a better spring. My state of mind isn’t one of depression, I actually feel ok and have embarked upon – and so far stuck to – both Dry January and Veganuary, plus I’m trying (but not always succeeding in overcoming my lack of motivation) to go for a walk in the fresh air every day. So some small pats on the back are warranted I feel.

The year just gone has been so hard for so many people. I feel that I have got off very lightly in comparison to many. My partner works from home now, but his job is relatively safe. My son has just had his ‘A’ Levels cancelled, but he’s still working (his teachers will now need to assess him) and to be honest, he’s actually quite glad not to have to sit all those exams.

It’s been years since we had anything resembling a wild social life and we don’t or can’t see much of what little family we have left – not much has changed on that front. The three of us get along and try to be kind and tolerant of one another’s “little quirks”.

But there is definitely a sense that something is missing… the inability to make plans: for travel, for the future, or just for the weekend or a meal out. A lot of the excitement and fun has gone out of life.

The other things that are problematic at the moment are to do with my work.

As well as the usual question of my ideas and creativity seemingly going into January hibernation, my go-to photo editor (the free website I have been using to sharpen up and improve the photos I take of my work) no longer functions properly. I won’t go into all the tedious details, but I’m finding it exceedingly frustrating trying to find a replacement. The alternatives are all too complicated, too expensive, too time-consuming to get to grips with…

My brain does not retain information as it did when I was younger, so learning new things is not the cinch it used to be. I’ve embarked on a free trial of a new photo editor, but the frustration of going from expert to complete novice who can’t seem to work out how to make anything look the way I want it to, is making my blood boil.

On top of that, Brexit happened on January 1st and with it came a whole raft of new requirements for people in the UK who, like me, sell their work online, sometimes to folks who live overseas. Trying to make sense of these requirements requires the patience of a saint, the detective skills of Sherlock Holmes and the perseverance of… well, of someone who doesn’t give up easily.

You would think, wouldn’t you, that it was a simple matter of going to the government’s website and looking it up. Well, I did that, and this is what I found…There are links to Royal Mail’s website for those of us who send items by post, but some of the information on there also appears to be out of date. The normally very well-informed and helpful people at my local post office are also none the wiser. In online help groups, there is much confusion and misinformation around talk of SIC and HS export codes, new tax requirements, EORI numbers etc etc – and that’s if you can work out whether there is anyone actually delivering to some overseas destinations in the middle of a global pandemic.

Then there is the question of sourcing materials. For me, there are relatively few specialist things I absolutely have to buy from abroad to make what I make. I use a particular glue sometimes (but I bought a big tube of it before Christmas) and there are the tiny glass eyes I use for my dolls and bears (I’ve stocked up on those while I can still get them) but much of what I make things from is cast-offs of various sorts – and I already have a large (some would say too large) accumulated stash of those, enough to last me for some considerable while.

But others are not so fortunate. As well as the changes to exporting, there are corresponding difficulties with importing goods. I have many maker friends who are frankly quite scared that the raw materials they rely upon to make their work (paints, clays, components, tools, etc. etc.) which are not made in the UK and come from far and wide, often from small companies, are no longer going to be either easy or cheap to obtain. Some companies have already said that they will no longer deal with UK customers, because of the additional administrative hassle and expense this now entails.

It’s all a bit of a mess, to be honest. We are told that we’ve had months – or years – to prepare for this and we should all be ready, but it’s just not that simple. For little sellers, like me, who don’t have access to a legal team or a direct line to the government, or even an accountant, it is all quite difficult and confusing and worrying.

It is with a heavy heart that I have decided that, until things settle down and the full requirements and cost implications become clear, I will not be able to sell my wares to overseas customers for the time being. Hopefully this won’t be for too long and the situation will become clearer as time goes on, but until I can work out exactly what I’m meant to be doing, I’m going to hold back, wait and see.

Let’s hope that bearing January will not be too difficult and that as we move into the springtime, life gradually regains some of those things that seem to have currently fallen between the cracks.

I’ve nearly finished making the bear in the (badly edited) photos in this post. He’s been a bit of a struggle so far, has a slightly sad outlook but I’m hopeful that he will turn out ok in time, hence in honour of the month, I have named him January. ♥

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