You may have heard the term “finding my tribe” being bandied about and wondered what it means.
To me, it’s all about belonging and connecting with other people. Obviously, my family are my number one tribe. I love the company of my family and look forward to them coming home at the end of the day.
But truth is, I don’t want them around when I’m trying to work.
Sometimes being a maker can be a lonely business.
Don’t get me wrong, I like making things probably more than doing anything else in the world (well, when it goes right anyway!) And in order to make, I need to be alone. I just don’t get the work done when there are other people around to distract me. Or rather, people for me to distract myself with.
And I know that other people have assistants and making partners and even share their studios and still manage to get work done, but I also know that I am not like that.
Whilst I love being around other people (I would probably shrivel up and die if I spent all my time alone, and sometimes I wish I were a bit more sociable) I do find that I seem to take after my Dad more as I get older in that I enjoy my own company, and I am never bored when alone. On the contrary, I need solitary time to be able to create to the best of my ability.
The problem arises when I reach the end of my knowledge, or want some feedback on what I am doing.
My family have many fine and wonderful qualities, but doll-makers they are not. When I ask them what they think of my latest creation I have to remind myself of this, so as not to feel disappointed when they don’t really know what to say, and frankly aren’t very interested.
It’s a bit like if my partner were to ask me to describe what I thought of the way that last goal was set up during one of the seemingly ubiquitous football matches currently being screened during the World Cup. I would probably think “what’s he asking me for?” and wonder what to say that didn’t sound either disinterested or stupid. Football is just not my thing.
And making dolls is just not theirs.
Unlike football, in which finding your tribe is as easy as popping down the local pub on match night, doll-makers are just not two-a-penny round here. Which is good really, because if they were I would probably start making something else, being the contrary go-it-alone sort that I am.
But it does mean that when it comes to having people to bounce ideas off, or to ask a technical question, or to just admire my latest creation (because let’s be honest, we all need that validation from time to time) well, sometimes I find that there can be a big fat void.
Not being much of an in-person “networker”, I have been seeking the connection I need online.
People can be very quick to judge the internet. “It’s full of trolls!”
“It’s a bubble to surround yourself with only people that agree with you!”
“It’s a time waster – go and read a book!”
“Don’t turn on the computer or you’ll never get anything done!”
Well, maybe that last one has a ring of truth about it…!
But I have found that in my recent quest to learn how to make clay dolls, I have been supported and helped and encouraged via my “imaginary friends” (which is what my partner used to call the people I know only via the internet) in a way that I never could have found otherwise.
I have asked daft basic questions about a medium of which I have no previous experience, and people have answered out of the goodness of their hearts. I have had suggestions and tutorials and inspiration laid before me to pick and choose from. I have been able to debate stuff that nobody except a doll-making geek would give a two hoots about.
Not to mention people sending and gifting me materials.
So thank you, all of you who take the time to share your photographs, advice, knowledge, skills, opinions and talents on the internet.
Because learning how to make the sort of dolls I never thought I could has been fantastically fulfilling so far, and I couldn’t have done it without you.
In doing so I have found my tribe.
And finding my tribe has been just as big a thrill. ♥
This doll is wonderful. I hope they turn up in your shop soon.
Clay is your thing, isn’t it? I can see that the faces, hands, legs and feet have a fine delicacy that you were trying for in fabric, but now you’re there. And you can mould it and paint it, and make the things your brain conceives but that just aren’t out there to find easily. And you *still* have this wonderful outlet for all those magical scraps. I have so enjoyed watching your dollmaking skills grow.
You have put it into words so much better than I could Kate!
I feel a thrill from making at the moment that I haven’t felt for a while, for all the reasons you explain so well. x